The least common expression you'll hear from the mouths of Bangladeshi children, seemingly, is 'thank you' or its Bengali version, 'dhan'yabāda'.

Give them a gift of any sort (chocolate, biscuits, taka, or whatever) and in the majority of cases the kind act is met with silence.

Sure there is a 'thank you' (of sorts) given by way of a smile, a glint in the eye or a nod of the head, but the tongue is silent.

I first noticed this impediment two decades ago. Mutual friend Ali Akbar and I had inaugurated a free weekly entertainment programme in his village under the banner "The Ali Akbar Fun'n'Games".

Although, predominantly intended for the fun, joy, and entertainment of children and teenagers of both sexes, adults (mums, dads, aunties and uncles) also attended, were welcomed, and encouraged to participate - why should the young have all the fun!

The Ali Akbar Fun'n'Games was an unique concept nowhere else to be found in Bangladesh. It didn't seek to discover the next great star of sport (but fortuitously it might!). It was purely for fun, family entertainment and friendship, for everyone to enjoy. Each week after mosque prayers several hundred fun-seekers gathered together from surrounding villages.

In the process dozens of prizes such as tee shirts, caps, pens, mugs, notebooks, diaries etc. were given to the winners of the individual events. In addition to those, all who attended - including babes in arms - were given a free lottery ticket and approximately 50 more items were given away.

When handing out the prizes Ali and I became aware of the fact the children accepted the items, but never expressed thanks. So we decided to teach them a lesson in manners that would benefit them throughout their lives.

We decided to confiscate prizes from those who didn't express thanks! We felt the lesson in good manners superseded the value of the prize itself. Before the games began, announcements were made stating this rule. The rule was enforced a number of times, but it didn't take long for the lesson to be learned!

Thoughtless

Some times we can be very thoughtless towards the feelings of others. Not meaning to be disrespectful, just thoughtless, by failing to show due gratitude.

Refrigerators in the home, for example, could readily be renamed 'mystery boxes'. Children constantly open their doors, remove what they need, but never ask how the items got inside! It's a mystery to them.

Similarly, the food at meal times happens to be "just there". There is little or no consideration as to how it actually got there and even less thanks expressed to those responsible for getting it there, or to those who prepared and cooked it.

All that is taken for granted, but that should not be. When someone extends a kindness, irrespective of its value or size, the least one can give in return is a 'thank you'. A 'thank you' is inexpensive, it's free of fancy gift-wrapping, and it's instantly available.

In restaurants, most people think nothing of saying 'thank you' to those who serve them, paying handsomely for their meal, and even leaving a tip.

A simple 'thank you' or better still a hug to mum (for preparing and cooking the food) and dad (for providing the food) is the best gratuity any child can frequently give their parents and it's priceless to them.

Admirably, many families pray before meals and thank Allah for providing the food. Even then mum and dad rarely receive a mention of gratitude. How could that be right?

The Ten Lepers

When prophet Jesus was on earth, he encountered ten lepers who begged and pleaded with him to save them from the horrific disease of leprosy and sure death. And he did. Naturally, they were delirious with gratitude and returned to their families overjoyed.

However, although Jesus had saved ten lepers from a prolonged, cruel and agonizing death, only one - ONLY ONE - returned to him and said 'Thank you'.

There are two distinct lessons to be learned from the Parable of the Ten Lepers.

Firstly, Jesus gave them back their lives, something that you and I are incapable of doing. Even if we had money to burn, and we could gift new cars, yachts, houses etc., nothing matches restoring a person's life.

Secondly, ten people were saved, but only one had the decency to go to him and express thanks. The moral to be learned here is simple: if Jesus didn't receive even a 'Thank you' for every life he saved, we should never expect thanks for anything that we would do.

It's clear, however, not to show gratitude for a kindness extended is absurdly wrong, ill-mannered, and unjust.

In theory, the first words from the mouths of newborn babies should be, "thank you mum for the food and nourishment you provided during my incubation period". Maybe they do.

The sincerest form of charity begins in the home - family comes first. We can either be a hypocrite or do what's proper and ethical. We can choose to be a member of the "One-in-10 Club" and begin by thanking those who provide us food and services and by not taking them for granted.

The most beautiful sounds every parent loves to hear from their children is, 'I Love You' and 'Thank you', yet for some strange reason most parents are robbed of those sounds.

Perhaps parent's ought to shoulder some blame for that defect. From an early age parents should teach their children the importance of expressing gratitude.

Ali and I removed prizes from children to teach them the importance of expressing thanks. Perhaps parents ought to remove the food at meal times to help teach appreciation. As in Eid-ul-Fitr, they'll probably benefit from the fasting period as a bonus anyway.

Sir Frank Peters is a former newspaper and magazine publisher and editor, an award-winning writer, humanitarian, human rights activist, Honorary Member of the Bangladesh Freedom Fighters, and a foreign friend of Bangladesh. E-mail: SirFrankPeters@gmail.com