(This is a satirical piece on the topic and no offence is intended, least of all to the police. People’s obsession with dead icons and refusal to accept facts is the issue. Nobody wants to accept that Salman Shah may have killed himself. Bangladeshis have a low sense of humour , hence the disclaimer in the beginning. Thanks)

The statement made by the police (Suicide division) that Salman Shah was not murdered by anyone but killed himself has shaken,any up. Most people have grown up under the impression that many people including a shady business tycoon, once the darling of the Bangu aspirant elite of Dhaka and now settled in Bangkok was responsible.

Many other names were mentioned as his killers. Millions are convinced that he was murdered all their life. Accepting that he was not killed is certainly going against the spirit of Salman Shah's history which is so important in the cultural construction of the national psyche. The matter is certain to raise many doubts and cause controversies. This could also be a conspiracy to tarnish the image of Salman Shah as Shabnur, has also said. What is going on?

The police's explanation is "anti-Salman"

The police's explanation is very difficult to accept as it contradicts the version that has been nurtured by the people for long. Facts are not important at all, its the emotions and spirit that matter. This was stated by a fan who regularly hangs himself for a few minutes every year on the day of Salman's death. " I am willing die for Salman any day, anytime. I wish i was there to stop him being killed and die in his place. Its the least we can do for our hero Salman. I feel so bad I can't die in place of Salman Shah. He is already dead."

Meanwhile weeping female fans who have sworn to marry Salman if he is reincarnated and if not marry only those who are named Salman, wailed and said, " What the police investigation says is unimportant. How I feel is more real. I feel very sad so he must have been killed. " Clearly, this is a very raw issue and needs careful discussion.

Police's five reasons that it was suicide

The police have given 5 reasons which are clearly not true. They are .. a. he was in a relationship of sorts with Shabnur, his heroine. b. His wife caught them both in a compromising situation at the FDC and she had stormed out. c. He was martially unhappy, one reason being not having any children. d. He loved his mother totally and beyond earthly limits. e. SS's mental state as a result of which he had tried to kill himself several times before.

As one can see , all the reasons given are unacceptable given the Salman miracle as its called. Let us take the 5 arguments and counter them.

1. He was happy with his wife Samirah because she was not paying enough attention to his mother, a JP leader. Its actruallya political issue and nothing to do with his death.

2. He was not cuddling Shabnur but it was a practice session which Samirah misunderstood and later they all had dinner together.

3. He had many children elsewhere and his fans were like his own kids. So why would he be unhappy for not having children.

4. He had not tried to kill himself before but was practicing for a suicide scene in his next movie.

5. How can loving his mother be a reason for suicide because all Bengali boys are mother fixated and Salman was the greatest fixated of them all in the country for which he should be given an Ekushe Podok in the " Love your mother' category.

Of pocket notes and cell pones

The police have also said that a note has been found in his trouser pocket written in his own hand. But this is false as Salman hanged himself wearing a lungi.

Finally, comes the issue of his cell phone which shows records of Shabnur calling him a number of times and he in one instance hurled the phone to the ground and smashed it. Having examined the records we find that it was a City Cell phone. Its clear now that he was unhappy with the services of the phone company and not Shabnur. If it was Grameen, the matter would have been very different.

Its also possible that that the plan is to divert attention from the payment to be made by Grameen phone as ordered by the High court.

When attention was drawn to this issue , the authorities said, that no matter what happens to the Salman Shah incidence, GP will have to pay the fine. Its a matter of national prestige and teh High Court.

A sum of 10 billion has already been set up by a private bank which is collecting deposits high interest rates. The Directors have already flown to Canada after the liquidation is declared.

Meanwhile, the Salman Shah memorial committee has called for a judicial inquiry as to why his wife remarried. "Its a clear sign of her guilt. And the fact that Shabnur is now overweight and lives in Australia points to her guilt as well."

The matter goes on.

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